neverlastingdream ☆

It’s Aiba-chan’s birthday!!

Hope you are having a birthday! Is Shukudai or GRA being filmed? How’s Pan-kun? Do you miss Shimuken?

Happy birthday to you!
Happy brithday to you!
Happy birthday dear Aiba-chan <3.
Happy birthday to you!

You are the cutest 25 year old I know! (Thank god you turned 25, because if you were still 24, I would not be able to choose if you were cuter or Nino’s cuter.) Thank you for risking your life when you hang out with kangaroos and embarrass the hell out of yourself when you “speak English”. It puts a smile on my face every time. I also love when you make mistakes reading Kanji on Arashi no Shukudai-kun. It’s absolutely kawaii <3.

You’re awesome! <3. Proof:

Click!

Two of my friends have somewhat stopped updating their blogs. Though this is completely their own decision due to mountainous schoolwork, I feel kind of lonely. Most of the time, I feel like blogs are my only connection to people. I haven’t heard about what and how they’re doing, and I’m somewhat 不安 (worried). In reality, I don’t know what I can do for them…

“你可能是我一生中最想保护的人。”

I once said words aren’t forever.. Though it never has been, I still feel useless. I don’t know anything.

“You can‘t expect them to come all the way, you have to meet them halfway.”

Jason tells me to call him whenever. Whenever is kind of a vague term. Sometimes I don’t know if I want to talk to him, and I know for certain that there are things I can’t tell or talk about with other people. I often don’t know where our conversations go, sometimes it’s really fun, other times I feel depressed and pressured to say things I don’t know if I mean.

I’ve been avoiding Anne. Mainly because I don’t want to talk about the same things as she does. Marks for finals/mid-year exams are out and I don’t want to check them because I know it’ll be ugly and bloody (don’t take this seriously). I am avoiding the subject because I don’t want to admit what a failure I am.

I don’t know how I’m gonna make it alive and back to school in one piece.

Changing the subject…

Singing. “A job is a job is a job,” Maggie says this whenever I ask her about her job, part-time or full-time. This almost led me to think about the quote, “A dream is a dream is a dream.” Maybe it’s not meant to be. (Why do I sound like I’m talking about my boyfriend, which I don’t have??) Maybe I’m just not meant to pursue it. All my life, I’ve been debating, should I do it? I shouldn’t right? In the naked truth, I know I can. In all honesty, there is only a slight slight slight slight slight slight slight possibility that that could happen. A friend of my mom’s once said that if I got packaged in Taiwan, I could make it. It was the first time I had ever considered going to Taiwan to debut; it’s kind of weird because since then, I’ve entertained the idea of going to Japan to debut. This is all really far-fetched. It really is. Everytime I start thinking about it, I have a headache (though, that’s probably due to lack of sleep). Should I completely give it up? I don’t think it’ll work. I’ve lived my life for 19 years now and it is absolutely the one thing so far that I know I love doing. My memory is very fuzzy cause I haven’t even finished that movie but more because it was more than 4 years ago, when I first started to watch Mr. Holland’s Opus back in grade 9 music class, when Mr. Holland asked one of his female students what she wanted to do, and she said, “I want to sing.” It hit me then, the 13 year old me knew that, if I was her and was asked that same question sincerely, I would say exactly the same thing. I still would. And most of the time I have. I’ve had this debate with Jason and Pei. Jason probably earns the most number of times featured on a quote post if I ever make one. He said, “There are two types of people in this world. There are those who’s ability give them interest, and there are those who’s interest gives them ability.” Awhile later he said, “自分も信じるなぁ！俺を信じろう！おまえの信じる俺を信じろう！” Which roughly translates to, “Don’t believe in yourself! Believe in me, believe in the me that believes in you.” I still don’t know what I should do about this. Here are some statistics:

The folder of all the recordings add up to a total of ~5.0 gigs, possibly and most probably more than that. It’s 5.4 gigs, but I think we should subtract the stuff I recorded for fun without people knowing. And there are at least 40 different songs (recordings) saved on my computer. I think the ones I spent the most time on on is Ultra Music Power and Fa Ru Xue. For Fa Ru Xue, I spend endless hours try to get a perfect recording because I kind of wanted to prove to Marina that I was good at what I loved to do (also cause I wanted her to think I’m a really cool person), in the end, I couldn’t get a better recording than the one I made on July 21st. I saved the two so-so recordings after the one on July 21st, but I just gave up saving the so-so ones later on. I kind of regret it now because I would at least have something to show for the amount of work I put into it. Maybe that’s why I saved almost every bit of work for Ultra Music Power. I have the aud’s and the mp3’s. Even now I haven’t deleted the earlier versions; I hate throwing away things. After Fa Ru Xue and Ultra Music Power, I think the next recording that I have spent a lot of time and thought on is Love is All I Need and Only Human. I think, I will never get a perfect recording, it’s just the light at the end of the tunnel that I will never see, never reach..

Truth? I actually being in a couple. I miss kisses. It is the most wonderful-est thing to do as a couple. Sex? Nah, “sex is boring…” xDD No, I don’t really know about it. Yeah I can see why it’s so great… But I’m good with kisses…

I want to write a original one shot fanfiction. Just so I don’t waste my vacation away. Grrr, I’m not much of a writer however…

I had a dream about Okamoto Keito last night. Don’t remember it much anymore.

I’m in love with this song. It’s one of the most saddest love songs.

We bought a Christmas CD from fye today. It was $2.99 and it’s quite crappy in terms of the sound quality of the music. Really makes you think how great the $21.99 is nee?

I’m gonna rant about Yamada Taro Monogatari after I finish it.

We went to grocery shopping today. We bought a shittruckload of stuff. Including dills, honeydew, strawberries, cucumbers, sigua, apples, coconut, cilantro, green beans, and much more. Why do I feel like I’m writing an advertisement for a brand new grocery store..??

I think this is all. I’m not sure if I wrote down everything I wanted to say or everything that I wanted you to know. Sometime in the future I think I will stop updating for a while too, because there will come a time when I won’t know what to say anymore. There will come a time when writing things down isn’t enough anymore. There will come a time when I will seriously become a hikikomori (watch Welcome to NHK) and not have any human communications. I feel like that’s where I’m heading towards. (Please don’t take this too seriously.)

I seriously wanted to password-protect this post. It’s too bare and pure? Heh, dunno. At least I feel it’s real. I wrote it listening to one of the saddest love songs I’ve ever heard…

Translation:

Someday, I wonder if the sadness will change in my memories.
I don’t even want to lose the pieces of pain…

Just a drop of tears, only a drop of tears.
Please do not hide it with your smile.

I honestly wanted to write something profound and worth reading. I’ve now completely forgotten it.

In other news, I dreamt I was in the same 2nd year Japanese class with Sakurai Sho (watching Yamada Taro Monogatari has left me oogling over his good looks). I probably ended up speaking in broken Japanese with him. This was probably in UWO, I don’t know. There were a bunch of people who were like, “Oh my god, you can speak Japanese with him!!”

Commercial.

I love you’s..

I think the Korean “saranghe” is my favourite. It’s not exactly overused, but at the same time, whenever it’s used, it’s used with passion and love. The Japanese “aishiteru” doesn’t sound as romantic, and it’s not used enough for me to love it. The Chinese “wo ai ni” doesn’t sound as poetic and it’s not as subtle, it sounds a bit forced. The English “I love you” is used too often for it to be anything special. Ergo, the Korean is my favourite.

“You just want Lily to be miserable. The truth is, she’s happy.”
“Trust me. I’ve known Lily for nine years.”
“Trust me. I’m a girl.”
“Yeah, but you’re Canadian.”

OOOHHHHHH!!! I WOULD be SO PISSED if I were her… O____O;;.

Actually, I am really miffed that he said that..!! Who SAYS that to his girlfriend??? O___OOO;;..

And, as a followup, here’s the rest of that pseudo-conversation:

“Why do you always have to bring that up?”
“You’re our weird neighbours from the north.”

“Lily!”

“Yes, you know me?”

“Yeah! From your homecoming picture! You’re much prettier in person.”

“Yeah, I know. The bangs were a mistake… Where’s my stuff?”

“Oh it’s all in the back. We could wrap it up for you. You want it to go?”

作詩：zopp
作曲：Shusui・Tobias Lundgren・Johan Fransson・Tim Larsson

夜を見上げて　まわる星空　君はどこにいるの?
聞こえないよね　届いているの?　泣いた星に話しかける

Yoru wo miagete mawaru hoshizora kimi wa doko ni iru no?
Kikoenaiyone todoiteiruno? Naita hoshi ni hanashikakeru

Looking at the revolving night sky, where are you?
You can’t hear this… Is this reaching you? I’m talking to the star that had shed tears.

Cry with me　Smile with me　感じて　ずっと
Pray with me　そばにいたいから　心　ひとつに

Cry with me Smile with me Kanjite zutto
Pray with me soba ni itaikara kokoro hitotsu ni

Cry with me, smile with me, feel it forever.
Pray with me. Because you’re here, my heart will become one.

闇に抱かれて　水面に揺れる　君はなにしてるの?
まわりの音に　流されてるの?　繋いだ手を離さないで

Yami ni dakarete minamo ni yureru kimi wa nani shiteru no?
Mawari no oto ni nagasareteru no? Tsunaida te wo hanasanaide

I am enveloped by the darkness and my reflections are swaying on the surface of the water. What are you doing now?
The repeating sound… Is it flowing? Don’t take away your hand away from mine.

Stay with me　Share with me　信じて　ずっと
Come with me　今は遠くても　未来　ひとつに

Stay with me Share with me Shinjite zutto
Come with me ima wa tookutemo mirai hitotsu ni

Stay with me, share with me, believe it forever.
Come with me, it’s faraway now, but the future will be here.

この距離がふたりの　想う心を　奪うのは　やめてほしい
君に会えるときを　いつも夢見てるよ

Kono kyori ga futari no omou kokoro wo ubau no wa yamete hoshii
Kimi ni aeru toki wo itsumo yume miru yo

This distance wants to give up the hearts that connect us.
I’ve always been dreaming when I can see you.

Cry with me　Smile with me　感じて　ずっと
Pray with me　そばにいたいから　心　ひとつに

Cry with me Smile with me Kanjite zutto
Pray with me soba ni itaikara kokoro hitotsu ni

Cry with me, smile me, feel it forever.
Pray with me. Because you’re here, my hear will become one.

Stay with me　Share with me　信じて　ずっと
Come with me　今は遠くても　未来　ひとつに

Stay with me Share with me Shinjite zutto
Come with me ima wa tookutemo mirai hitotsu ni

Stay with me, share with me, believe it forever.
Come with me, it’s faraway now, but the future will be here.

心　ひとつに

Kokoro hitotsu ni

The heart will become one.

I think I fell in love with this song the moment Koyama (I think it’s Koyama that sings first in this song) started singing. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with a JE song so quickly before. With others, I had always been inclined to like some of them because I’m usually watching the drama that it’s from, and the ones that weren’t used in a drama, I had only always liked them after listening to them a couple of times. However, this song is so awesome, it’s recorded so well and the lyrics were heartfelt too. Unfortunately, they don’t all make sense to me, which means not all of it is correct. But I did my best in the amount of time that I had allowed myself to work on this. It’s just a wonderful song; it’s in both the limited and the regular edition as the B-side of weeeek. I had been voraciously looking (okay, maybe this is just slightly exaggerated) for the limited version for the past 2 hours or so (to no avail) because I don’t have the Original Karaoke for weeeek. Anyway, just give the lyrics a chance, even though it makes absolutely no sense right now, I’ll most likely go get it fix, how I don’t know yet, ask Fukui-sensei? I don’t want to bother her…. *I just started to blab…* The melody is awesome too. Tegoshi’s solo was awesome…. Kyyya.. Love it.

Comment on the grammar please. Even better if you actually tell me what some of the grammar structures in the original lyrics mean..!!

Original kanji lyrics from http://music.goo.ne.jp/.

That’s it, I’m waking up to this song tomorrow…