neverlastingdream //

Sometimes I try my best to make everyone around me happy. If I learnt anything from grade 10 history though, appeasement does not work.. I have an innate function not to consider what other people say…

Maybe I’m just selfish like that. Even when I have low self-confidence, I’m still selfish enough not to take other people’s advices..

I’m used to running away from my problems, ignoring them like they aren’t there.

While I know that is wrong, facing them is more difficult and painful.

How do I say.. “I’m trying to balance my life… Don’t patronize me because you think I’m wasting my time. I’m not as vain as you think I am.” Inside, if I say it out loud, I’m afraid it’ll become false. And maybe I am vain, but at least I’m not trying to make you miserable. That would just be cruel.

Sometimes I wish you would just leave me alone. 自分だけの世界がほしいですね。歌詞の中で。

I guess part of it is me trying to get attraction. But I feel guilty about it and try not to do it.

If you patronize me, I put up a wall around me with a 2 meter radius. Sometimes I hate myself for not living up to other people’s expectations, beating myself up for not being able to do what others expects me to.

I should accept that I really only need to make myself happy. I’m somewhat trying, but you can’t expect me to give up on singing. I can’t do that. I know I can’t. I would die if I did.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 13th, 2008 at 9:06 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.